miscellany: a potpourri of wc

I haven’t been inspired with any genius writing ideas lately, so here, in no particular order, are just the things on my mind at the moment:

(1). Women who are “happy” with patriarchal systems totally still piss me off. People who use these “happy” women as a justification for continuing with patriarchal systems and bitch at you for even THINKING about rocking the boat piss me off even more. According to some statistics I just saw, “only” 30% of women were unhappy with the role of women in the church so MOST women are happy with things as they are. To that I ask, “so what?!” “Most” people who smoke don’t get lung cancer, “most” people who venture outside their homes don’t get hit by drunk drivers - we still sanction tobacco use and legislate against drinking and driving, because we acknowledge them as negative things that nonetheless affect only relatively few people.

Why is it that women who say, yes, the roles for women in the church are a problem are discounted, often reviled, or at the very least called to repentance? They are often treated as (possibly personally unrighteous or not spiritual enough) agitators; as unhappy and/or somehow less feminine; or as outright heretics? Why is it okay that a third are *not* happy with things? And one is usually so completely worn out (I think I just answered my own question) by justifying why it’s worth even having the conversation about women’s roles, to even get to the actual conversations about what should be done about it. Just because women are less likely to walk away (and there are all sorts of discussions we could have about this), doesn’t mean the status quo is actually positive or healthy for them. (Plus, I generally don’t like quantitative constructs for measuring “happiness,” even sophisticated, well-validated ones. I have too often seen that, in the case of mo women particularly, one must peel the onion a bit to understand what underpins their top-of-mind answers. So yeah, I’m a feminist advocating in-depth qualitative methodology - alert the media.)

In the end, I think voting with your feet is the only thing that ever makes a difference. That said, it only makes a difference for the person doing the walking, because you can be damn sure that those so-called happy wimmens (and righteous fellas) left behind continue to denounce those so-called feminists, intellectuals and gays, and things don’t really change much. Bleah.

(2). Regrets. I blame Rippy for this one. She MADE ME (ie, she provided the link) look at a dooce thread about regrets. Alas. I usually don’t think about the past too much (nor the future - I’m one of those stuck-in-the-present kinda gals), but I somehow got sucked in and read all nearly-500 comments (last one by Rippy - way to make your mark, girl!) and I ended up depressed and anxious and basically feeling like opening a vein and doing push-ups. It wasn’t all completely sad, but there were some in there that took my breath away, and made me feel regret for things that otherwise don’t bug me. Like, what if I end up regretting not having children after all? Just when I think I’m perfectly comfortable with that decision, somebody makes me feel like I’ve missed the whole boat in life. Or, regret for not somehow doing/saying/feeling/experiencing enough to/of a loved one before they died; or are still not doing so to/with those who are getting older. Or, regret for following a certain path that led to X, when maybe you should have headed to Y (not the Y) instead.

So, what say you, my 10 (former?) readers: Any regrets?

(3). The Devil Wears Prada sucks. Why this stupid movie stuck with me, I don’t know. But it was on a slow burn - I didn’t immediately HATE it, but I started to resent it passively, and that seed did flourish and bring forth fruits of pure annoyance. Am I just turning into an old crank (ahem), or did anyone else find it totally D-U-M-M that this young ambitious character was made to feel all guilty (in her 20s, just starting out, no spouse or children even!!) for working too much and wanting to get ahead? The scene where we’re supposed to think she’s all bad and Has Her Priorities Wrong when she gets mad at her friends for confiscating her mobile phone just completely went down wrong for me. I was pissed at her dumb friends, and her supposedly awesome, sensitive boyfriend, for disrupting her professional life that way. There are better ways to register your displeasure with how someone’s operating their career than to interfere with their potential success. Damn, I do sound like an old crank. But really, by the time I reflected back on this movie, I was just utterly feeling undermined (and vicariously so for the youngsters just starting out) by the notion that you’re supposed to start feeling guilt and choose the false dichotomy of “real life” versus work even when you don’t have kids yet (the usual means for making women feel guilt). Plus, how fucking stoopid was it that her boyfriend was supposedly some hot up-and-coming chef in NYC?!? If ANYONE in the world should understand sacrificing much personal life and working crazy hours for psycho-egomaniacal bosses, it’s a YOUNG CHEF TRYING TO GET AHEAD. What a bastard. (It almost ruined Entourage for me, but not quite…because I still love that show.)

(4). St. Elsewhere is so good. Yes, I know that was like 25 years ago, but it just came out on DVD and I watched the first season whilst recovering from surgery (and DH was happily barrelling down mountainsides on two wee sticks). I was a little young to watch it the first time around and I was vaguely worried that it would be like Love Boat with lab coats. But it wasn’t! It’s really good, if not a little dated (my favorite: A very young Tim Robbins plays a poor-little-rich-kid “terrorist” with an unrevealed agenda. We know he is Bad because he sneers a lot and sits in his hospital room chain smoking. [Oh yeah, and many people smoked in hospitals back then apparently.]). But what’s interesting is how this show really pioneered things for shows that came later - you quickly realise that things that seem like genre-duhs now were in fact original to this show. It’s also interesting that 25 years ago, things were covered on the program that probably wouldn’t be allowed in prime time now.

(5). The French. Have you read any of Stephen Clarke’s books? A Year in the Merde and Merde Actually are his two previous books, about being an English expat in France. They are both pretty damn hilarious. I just read his new book, Talk to the Snail: Ten Commandments for Understanding the French. Good, lighthearted stuff, and makes me laugh out loud a bit too. Sorta like reading David Sedaris, but without as much potential for actual laughing-to-tears. Related to this, I bought and read C. L. Hanson’s novel Ex-Mormon, which was a very good read, and I gobbled it all up in two days time. Fascinating look at mormon and ex-mormon characters. I’m not writing an in-depth review because I’m not that kind of English major, but I very much enjoyed it, and I recommend reading this one!

That’s it for now, kids. Aren’t you glad I didn’t have much to say? Otherwise, I might have fully blathered on and on for several screens’ worth of blah-dee-blah.

PS - I totally blame belaja (I am able to blame Other People for most things - it’s a lifestyle choice) for making me re-read and edit myself 50 times (knowing there are still errors in here nonetheless) because I know she grades on grammar and spelling.