A short while ago, Sideon wrote a post about dreams, and I was pretty wistful when I started to think about it. Dreams, thought I…have I ever had any? Not the sleepy kind, the kind where you reallyreallyreally want something — go somewhere, be something when you grow up, have some experience(s) before you die, etc. I’m not much of a dreamer. Nothing came to mind.
I started to think about it over the next days after that. I could remember wanting to be a professor at some point, probably in my early college years (ie, before grad school made me never want to stay in academia long enough for a PhD). It probably wasn’t much of a dream, it was a vague wish. And I didn’t fulfill it, obviously.
Other longterm “dreams”? Well, I did want to get married…eventually. And I did.
Hmm.
I started to wonder why I didn’t have dreams, things I hoped to accomplish. That led down a bad path of why I didn’t think I should bother with dreams or was trained out of having them or flitted through life by the seat of my pants with no plan at all, or related things that were unpleasant. So I didn’t continue down that path.
Instead, I thought about what I’d dream about now. What I’d really want if I could have anything I wanted.
Why do I always come up blank on these questions? Is it really so hard to know what you want? What you’d like? Why can I not do this?? I can come up with what I don’t want…it’s a list comprised of things I’ve tried and rejected. That is not an efficient way to get to what you want, as it would take a number of lifetimes to figure things out by process of elimination.
After much pondering and no praying, I came up with one thing: Independence. I dream of independence. Utter independence. The kind where I’m not the boss and I don’t have a boss. Where I don’t have to own my own business or work for The Man. Something that probably doesn’t exist. And I want it bad.
I guess my dream is a little unrealistic. But hey, a girl can, well, dream…finally.
So, people — what are your dreams? I want to hear them ALL!! The ones you still have and still intend on fulfilling, the ones you’ve given up, the ones you’ve made come true!, the ones you’re just starting to have a glimmer of dreaming about… Tell me them all!! Either in the comments, or in a post and leave a link in the comments. Pretty please? 
19 responses so far ↓
C. L. Hanson // Sunday, 18 November 2007 at 20:46
Once I rule out the nutty ones (eternal life and other magic wishes), my fabulous fantasies tend to involve world travel and/or being on the best-seller list…
Phoebe // Sunday, 18 November 2007 at 22:48
I had learned to stop dreaming because every time I made plans, somebody else’s plans took precedence. I blame myself when I get real; I blame others when I’m feeling angry.
My dream is to impeach Cheney first, then Bush. If Bush were impeached first, then Cheney would be president, kinda like he’s been for the past six years anyway.
Next, live in a “green” home with solar panels and tankless water heater. A small bungalow near a walk-friendly store, coffee shop and bakery. There would be a community center that is kind of like church, only without spaghetti monster worship.
You may call me a dreamer, but I’m not the only one (wink).
CV Rick // Monday, 19 November 2007 at 04:03
Your dream is possible, don’t think it isn’t. It’s not my own dream, but I know a couple of people who live that dream of independence . . . they don’t work now, they don’t have pressure and obligations, they just live the lives they want.
HM // Monday, 19 November 2007 at 11:31
One of my dreams was to somehow come into a bit of money and start an artists collective, similar to a kibbutz.
I think I have a huge bit of slacker in me that just wants to opt out of the ordinary grind because it often becomes a tedious exercise. It doesn’t help that I tend to be a bit nihilistic anyway. I just think, ‘what’s the purpose for this?’ and then I see a really nice scarf that I want…
Brooklyn Mama // Tuesday, 20 November 2007 at 05:49
I live with someone who has realized his dream to be a working artist and it’s kind of disillusioned me — oh you know, I’ve told you about this.
My dream was to run away to New York City and become a famous cellist/artist/writer. So I kind of got halfway there and now my dream is to find work I don’t hate and together, with the dreamer, make enough to someday buy a 2-bedroom apartment, put our son through private school and college, and maybe even have some left over for pretty shoes.
chandelirious » Please don’t wake me, no, don’t shake me / leave me where I am, I’m only sleeping // Tuesday, 20 November 2007 at 21:53
[...] I am not always sure what I dream while I’m awake. [...]
chandelier // Tuesday, 20 November 2007 at 21:55
http://kolobcafe.com/chandelier/?p=21
aerin // Tuesday, 20 November 2007 at 22:31
Well - aside from world peace (but with human dignity), an end to world hunger, poverty, discrimination, everyone would be able to get a good education, everyone would have parents who loved them, etc.
First on the list -
-visit chanson in France
There are some things on my own list. And some of these are not practical and who’s to say if I got them - I would really want them. But…
-travel to Peru/machu piccu
-travel to Egypt
-travel to Japan
-live in Russia or former Soviet Union
-get my masters/MBA
-be a foster parent
-teach classes at a local community college
-publish a book of poetry
NFlanders // Wednesday, 21 November 2007 at 02:50
When I was a kid, for some reason I was obsessed with being an astronaut.
Now, my dream is to have as much free-time as possible. The only thing I want to do is to be able to finish all the books that I want to read, and visit all the places I want to go.
Kind of selfish, but there it is.
Cele // Wednesday, 21 November 2007 at 09:38
Wow, a dream? that’s difficult. Can I get back to you on that?
Sister Mary Lisa // Wednesday, 21 November 2007 at 17:23
I dream of being an artist. With my own studio. Or a writer…Or a better mom. Or…happy. I dream of being truly happy.
Miranda // Thursday, 22 November 2007 at 02:19
I dream of independence, too, and happy, grown children and finding a SO who really gets me and adores me and with whom I would totally devote myself to forever and forever.
Mostly, I just hope my friends are happy. Happy Thanksgiving, Dear Friend From the Internet.
Todd // Saturday, 24 November 2007 at 09:20
All I know right now is that this isn’t the life I thought I’d have or the life I wanted. I did achieve a huge “dream” of becoming a professor, but I find that now that I’m here, many of my priorities and desires have changed anyway, so it doesn’t really feel like I’ve achieved a dream.
I have a bit of the opposite problem from you. I have always had dreams/desires for life. But have never been able to believe I’d have them or to dare to acknowledge them, knowing that I’d most likely be disappointed. I say that in full recognition of my own pessimism. Or is it cynicism?
JulieAnn // Sunday, 25 November 2007 at 15:54
I dream of being a published author. Again.
Arizona Awakening // Wednesday, 28 November 2007 at 06:00
Thought provoking and I hope you find a way to make your dreams come true. I have been wrestling with that as well…
wry catcher // Thursday, 29 November 2007 at 21:05
Hi Chanson - You will probably be a best-selling author one day. The best start toward that is the fact that you’ve actually published more than one book already!
Hey Phoebes - Your dream of a “green” home in a great community seems do-able. I remember seeing something like this in Wisconsin, actually.
Hi CV Rick - How do your friends do that? Are they independently wealthy?
Hey HM - I get distracted by a nice scarf too, sigh. Dreams short-circuited by pessimism and acquisitiveness…?
Hi Brooklyn - I think a dream where you can launch your child well and still have good shoes is reasonable. I know your DH is struggling with losing his dream. Mid-life crises SUCKSUCKSUCK.
Hey Chandy - If y’all haven’t read her post she linked, you oughta. She said: “It is hard for me to breathe life into my dreams. My overall dream is to be happy with what I am. I’m a searcher, not a settler. I feel like I should settle. I want to pick one thing and make it mine. I want to pick one job. One place. One favorite outfit. One day of the week where I always clean the bathroom. But I just don’t work that way. And because I don’t work that way, I think I don’t work. But you know, maybe I do. Anyway, I dream about not fighting myself.” I SO get this. I’ve moved around my whole life, but without a dream to guide me. Just moving from one place to another, going where it seemed like I might be wanted. Not thinking about what I actually wanted; not having any idea what I wanted. I’m still there.
Hi Aerin - Your list of dreams seems very down-to-earth and do-able for the most part. I think visiting Chanson in France is awesome; of course, I didn’t make it to Bordeaux unfortunately. Soon you’ll have to visit her in Swizzy instead…
Hi Ned Flanders - I love it when you turn up every now and then. I must say, I love your dream, and it’s one I share. It sounds a bit heavenly.
Hi Cele - Yeah, I’m still waiting…
Hi SML - I dream of you being happy, too. Keep going for it.
Hi Miranda - Dear friend from the Internet, I hope you reach your dreams too. I can’t imagine there not being a perfect SO for you. I think it’s unthinkable…if it’s possible for me to do that.
Hey T - So you fear your dreams because they won’t come true? I think Chandelier’s post has a good explanation of that phenomenon, for me anyhow. I am still quite envious that you achieved professor-ness.
Hey JA - I’ve no doubt your dream will be a reality.
Hi AZ Awakening - What are your dreams? I hope they come true.
Jer // Tuesday, 4 December 2007 at 03:17
Dreams? Oh so many dreams.
Travel the world, own a house big enough to throw parties for all my friends, start an art/animation studio with a high school buddy, produce volumes of stories or film telling stories that mean something to people.
And goddamit it’s going to happen, make no mistake.
wry catcher // Tuesday, 4 December 2007 at 22:57
Hey Jer - that sounds like a bunch of really good, really feasible dreams…I hope to see them all come true!
what sounds good now « wry catcher // Friday, 25 January 2008 at 21:25
[...] when I was talking about dreams, and the fact that I didn’t really have any Big Dreams I Always Wanted To Accomplish In Life. [...]
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